Are You Abandoning Yourself to Keep the Relationship Together?
A practical self-check and 7 ways to start putting yourself back on the list.
If addiction has slowly become the centre of the relationship
When someone you love has an addiction, life can start to organise itself around their moods, crises, promises, relapses and recovery attempts.
At first, you may barely notice how much you are adapting. You cancel plans. You avoid certain conversations. You take on more responsibility. You tell yourself things will settle once they stop using, start treatment, get through this crisis, or finally mean what they say.
And somewhere along the way, your own needs, plans and sense of what is normal can begin to move further down the list.
When Addiction Comes First is a practical guide to help you step back and look at what has been happening to you.
It will help you explore:
- how addiction can change the balance of a relationship
- whether your idea of “normal” has gradually shifted
- the difference between understanding behaviour and excusing its impact
- the responsibilities you may have taken on that are not really yours
- what parts of your own life you may want to start rebuilding
- seven realistic ways to begin putting yourself back on the list
Instant access to the interactive flipbook and downloadable PDF.
A note about your payment:
Your purchase is processed by Lightkeeper Ventures, so that is the name you may see on your bank or card statement.
This guide will not tell you to stay or leave
If you love someone with an addiction, there is a good chance you have already had plenty of advice about what you should do.
Leave. Stay. Set a boundary. Stop helping. Give them another chance. Don’t give them another chance.
This guide does not do that.
Its purpose is to help you look more clearly at what the relationship has become, what it is asking of you, and what is still within your control.
You do not have to make a major decision before you are ready. You do not have to decide whether your relationship is “bad enough” to justify leaving. And you do not have to excuse behaviour that is hurting you simply because addiction helps explain why it is happening.
You can start by noticing what has changed, what you are carrying, and what you want more room for in your own life.
Instant access to the interactive flipbook and downloadable PDF.
A note about your payment:
Your purchase is processed by Lightkeeper Ventures, so that is the name you may see on your bank or card statement.
What’s inside
When Addiction Comes First is designed to help you slow things down enough to see your situation more clearly — without turning your relationship into a diagnosis or telling you what decision to make.
Inside, you’ll work through:
- When addiction starts running the relationship — how the relationship can gradually become organised around crises, moods, promises, relapse and recovery attempts.
- What “addiction comes first” can actually look like — including the difference between understanding behaviour and excusing its impact on you.
- A self-check: Am I abandoning myself? — a practical way to notice where your own needs, plans, relationships and standards may have been pushed aside.
- Guided reflection questions — to help you identify what has changed, what you are carrying, what you want back, and what you may have been postponing.
- 7 ways to start putting yourself back on the list — realistic actions that do not depend on your partner changing first.
- A simple next step — so you can choose one thing to begin with rather than feeling as though you need to solve everything at once.
You can read the guide online as an interactive flipbook, or download the PDF to keep, print or work through at your own pace.
One-off payment. Instant access.
A note about your payment:
Your purchase is processed by Lightkeeper Ventures, so that is the name you may see on your bank or card statement.